The Dreaded Question
by Doitsu
Summary: On his birthday, Russia asked each nation to become one with him. Only Sealand wasn't asked. Sealand and... China. He should be glad to be spared. He did not need Russia's approval or his validation. Why did he feel this rejection, then? Russia/China


A/N: Hello everyone! This is a little ficlet that popped into my head the other day. I wrote it listening to the Anthem of the Russian Federation. Marvellous song. Hope you enjoy! And do check out the Russian anthem on youtube. It made me feel all patriotic toward Russia. I'm not even Russian! =)

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers. It belongs to Hidekazu Himaruya (c).

* * *

"But it's my birthday, Latvia, so you become one with Mother Russia, da?" An impossibly dark, but so very bright smile lingered on Russia's face as he asked his favourite question of the day.

Trembling Latvia was shaking his head desperately and would have turned tail and fled if it hadn't been for Russia's heavy hand on his shoulder.

Lithuania took a very, very hesitant step toward the two and very, very tentatively reached out a hand to gain Russia's (unwanted) attention. "Please, Russia, he is so small, he really won't make that much of a difference to your country... right?"

By the end of his attempt to rescue Latvia, he was trembling just as much as the smaller nation.

Russia let go of Latvia, who nearly fainted on the spot. Instead, he turned to Lithuania with a curious and dangerous smile. "So you want to become one with Mother Russia instead?"

Lithuania looked as though he only just realised what a position he had willingly and foolishly placed himself in. "Um- um- um, no. No, really, I- no, please."

* * *

Yao averted his eyes from the scene and stepped out of the meeting room into the corridor.

It was Russia's birthday. And, true to his nature, Russia had taken advantage of the day and had been asking everyone, from America (who freaked out and threatened him with nuclear war) to Spain (who had smiled vaguely, shaken his head and offered him a tomato instead), to become one with Mother Russia.

Yes, there had been no nations who had been spared the moment of frightening Russia towering over them and asking, with deceptive cheerfulness, if they wanted to become part of him. Only Sealand had not been asked and that was half because he was too small to really matter to Russia and half because he wasn't even present at the meeting.

Only Sealand. Only Sealand and... China.

And to his consternation, Yao had realised in the course of the day that he was... disappointed. Each time the tallest nation passed him or happened to meet his eyes over the conference table, Yao had waited. He had waited to be asked.

But he hadn't been. In the corridors, Russia had brushed by him. When they had been sitting in the conference, Russia's eyes continued down the table, settling on some other unfortunate nation as he asked them the dreaded question.

Yao knew it was ridiculous. No, it went further than just being ridiculous; in fact it should be called insane.

He should be glad that he had been spared, happy to not be put into such a scary situation. Because it would be terrifying to be confronted by Russia, wouldn't it? Oh yes, he was so very fortunate that Russia hadn't asked him!

But... he wanted to be asked.

China did not want to merge with Russia; he wanted to be asked because the question would mean so much more than just "become one with Mother Russia". To him, it would be as though Russia were saying: I want you to be one with me. You are worthy. I need you by my side.

* * *

Ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous! He was a four thousand year old nation, independent, strong and most certainly not dependent on some younger nation's approval! He didn't need some youngster to provide him with validation, to tell him that he was wanted! Never! He had never needed anyone else. Least of all Russia.

Still, the way the other nations had so vehemently denied Russia made Yao both angry and slightly jealous. All of them had been asked and they did not even appreciate the fact that Russia had basically told them that he valued them.

And it stung. It stung that Russia had not asked him. Maybe Russia would ask him later?

Seeing England waving at him to return to the conference room, Yao heaved a sigh and nodded at the blonde nation. As he walked back to the conference room, China was most certainly not treading more heavily and definitely did not childishly kick his feet. And he did not glare at Russia as he sat in his seat. No, he was composed, entirely unaffected. As unaffected as he was when someone said that pandas were stupid. Yes, that unaffected.

* * *

The last nations filed out of the room and America waved, grinning. "See ya, China! Have an awesome birthday, Russia!" Then, he was also gone.

This was it. China was getting ready to leave as well. This was Russia's last chance to ask him. Yao deliberately gathered his papers more slowly, watching Russia out of the corner of his eye.

The tall nation was whistling something as he closed his folders and lifted the enormous stack with ease.

China glanced at his own stack, sighed, and attempted to lift it, but it was extremely heavy. Damn England and his extensive handouts. Sliding the stack of folders closer to the edge of the table, he managed to move the weight into his arms, holding the top with his chin to prevent any folders from falling.

An innocent voice. "Do you need help with that, China?"

Russia! China's mind raced. If he let Russia help him, Russia might ask him that question!

Yao nodded and smiled a bit. "Thanks, aru. It's all England's fault for passing out all those handouts."

Russia smiled back and took China's stack, while balancing his own in his left hand. Yao shivered as Russia's gloved hand briefly touched his own. Russia looked completely at ease with that small smile on his lips that made Yao's chest ache.

Yao waited. And waited.

The question wasn't coming. Russia was simply carrying both stacks and was whistling his anthem as China walked at his side toward the exit.

This was his perfect opportunity! Why didn't he ask? Yao sneaked surreptitious glances at the tall nation at his side, but Russia remained oblivious.

They reached the exit and Russia turned to him. Yao held his breath. "It's not far to your car, da?"

China couldn't stop himself. "You didn't ask me", he quietly said.

"China? What do you mean?" Russia looked confused.

"You asked everyone to become one with you, but you didn't ask me..." China had cast down his eyes and was studiously looking at their feet. Large and small.

"Did you... mind?" Russia's voice sounded impossibly soft.

China whipped up his head to glare at Russia. "Of course not!"

"Why did you mention it then?"

China fought down a blush. He shouldn't have said anything. "I merely stated a fact."

"Oh."

"Yes. I only noticed that you asked everyone else and wondered why you didn't ask me. Well," –Yao nonchalantly took the folders from Russia- "I guess I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, huh?"

With his chest aching more than ever, Yao turned away and walked toward the car waiting for him.

"China." Russia's voice sounded heavier and thicker than usual.

He stopped in his tracks, but did not turn around.

"I would never even consider asking you."

Tears entered his eyes and Yao nodded. The heavy stack of folders did not allow him to run, even though he longed to.

He could still feel Russia's eyes on his back as he entered the car, letting go of the folders and his composure.

* * *

Russia could not tear his gaze from the retreating nation. His bearing seemed off, he looked even smaller than usual.

He felt guilty, but it had been necessary. Russia couldn't possibly have told him. He couldn't. Not now, not ever.

As the doors of the car closed, Russia could barely discern the look of utter rejection on Yao's face.

"I am sorry you have to feel this pain, Yao. I would never ask you to become one with me..."

A pained smile and a whispered confession.

"...because you are the only one I could not bear to see disappear."


End file.
